First off, thank you to all of the commenters of yesterday 🙂 All of you helped me through a really tough time, and I’m not saying I’m out of my rut, but I’ve at least gotten out of bed and tried to do something with myself.
Hmmm, as a warning, this might be a jumbled old post.
This morning started with a flowery awakening
Accompanied by an interview with Zara Phillips from the Sunday Times style magazine. Who was more interesting than I percieved, and whos horse is beautiful. And I’m not even a horse person. She seems really down to earth, which is surprising seeing as she is royalty, with an MBE and a Sports Personality of The Year Award.
All of your advice yesterday motivated me to read blogs, read and then do something to distract myself, which resulted in
Flower toenails! This is such a good distraction. It annoyed me that its not perfect though, I suppose practice makes perfect!
The main point of this post is to hopefully gain some advice. Now, tomorrow, a friend who I have known for 11 years is coming over, sounds cool right? Not quite so simple. We haven’t seen each other for a very very long time, meaning she hasn’t seen me since I was at a relativity healthy weight; she is blissfully unaware of my ED, or hospitalization. In this time, she has also become a mother to the most gorgeous little girl, so she hasn’t had the easiest time either. There was no reason for our lack of communication, I think it was simply a distance thing. Of course, due to my ED, I tried to put of meeting up with her for as long as possible. But now, it is the summer holidays, and it would be impossible for me to make up excuses for a whole 6 weeks. So I am taking the plunge, she is coming over tommorrow, we will probably go for a walk, and it is only for a few hours, but I miss her so badly, she reminds me of the good times, it would be nice to hav her back in my life. Of course I am scared, this is such a challenge.
Should I tell her about my illness? I’m torn, because I am sick of being treated like just an anorexic, I do not want to be defined by it any more, but it is such an integrated part of my life now, not just my ED, but my recovery and the way it has changed my life, and the person I have become. I am just so scared that she will distance herself, much like a large proportion of people in my life, or that she will be unaware of what to do, and treat me like an alien, like another chunk of the people in my life.
Ok, now I have to go help my mum pack for Germany- we leave on Saturday! So nervous but excited.
So what would you do? Have any of you ever been in this situation?