Old friends, new situations

First off, thank you to all of the commenters of yesterday 🙂 All of you helped me through a really tough time, and I’m not saying I’m out of my rut, but I’ve at least gotten out of bed and tried to do something with myself.

Hmmm, as a warning, this might be a jumbled old post.

This morning started with a flowery awakening

Breakfast: Dorset cereal High Fibre muesli with pecans, hazelnuts, brazils and dried apricots; arranged by my mother into a flower, to try to get me to smile.

Accompanied by an interview with Zara Phillips from the Sunday Times style magazine. Who was more interesting than I percieved, and whos horse is beautiful. And I’m not even a horse person. She seems really down to earth, which is surprising seeing as she is royalty, with an MBE and a Sports Personality of The Year Award.

All of your advice yesterday motivated me to read blogs, read and then do something to distract myself, which resulted in

Ew. I hate feet. But liked my toenails

Flower toenails! This is such a good distraction. It annoyed me that its not perfect though, I suppose practice makes perfect!

The main point of this post is to hopefully gain some advice. Now, tomorrow, a friend who I have known for 11 years is coming over, sounds cool right? Not quite so simple. We haven’t seen each other for a very very long time, meaning she hasn’t seen me since I was at a relativity healthy weight; she is blissfully unaware of my ED, or hospitalization. In this time, she has also become a mother to the most gorgeous little girl, so she hasn’t had the easiest time either.  There was no reason for our lack of communication, I think  it was simply a distance thing. Of course, due to my ED, I tried to put of meeting up with her for as long as possible. But now, it is the summer holidays, and it would be impossible for me to make up excuses for a whole 6 weeks. So I am taking the plunge, she is coming over tommorrow, we will probably go for a walk, and it is only for a few hours, but I miss her so badly, she reminds me of the good times, it would be nice to hav her back in my life. Of course I am scared, this is such a challenge.

Should I tell her about my illness? I’m torn, because I am sick of being treated like just an anorexic, I do not want to be defined by it any more, but it is such an integrated part of my life now, not just my ED, but my recovery and the way it has changed my life, and the person I have become. I am just so scared that she will distance herself, much like a large proportion of people in my life, or that she will be unaware of what to do, and treat me like an alien, like another chunk of the people in my life.

Ok, now I have to go help my mum pack for Germany- we leave on Saturday! So nervous but excited.

So what would you do? Have any of you ever been in this situation?


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3 Comments

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3 responses to “Old friends, new situations

  1. I’d say if YOU REALLY trust her and she’s seen you THROUGH the WORST of things before, it shouldn’t bother her. I have a friend that came to visit me for a week (I’ve known her for 7 or 8 yes). I showed her a picture of myself (before she came out here), and told her what I do and everything. She WASN’T fazed at it the SLIGHTEST. She told me if I can remember right “The worst thing you can do is get mad at an anorexic/bulimic.” The point is tell her that you WERE ill, but your WORKING ON GETTING BETTER! 🙂

  2. dmcgirl37

    I know how you feel…I would just be honest with her. I hid my ED from so many people and it is always a bad thing. I always felt like when I was finally able to tell people about it I finally started to get better. Though, I still sometimes keep it from people..

    Dana xo

  3. I would tell her. Honestly, it feels so good to just have everything out in the open. Chances are she will know something is up anyway if you say she hasn’t seen you since you were at a healthy weight… and if she is a true friend, she will support you through anything.

    Spending your time with her trying to pretend to be someone that your not is exhausting and stressful. You deserve better – you deserve to be able to spend time, socialize, relax and just enjoy her company. She’s obviously been through a lot, so I don’t see why she wouldn’t try to understand.

    Congrats on making the effort to pull yourself out of your funk after yesterday 🙂 The toes look marvelous!
    ❤ Tat

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