Being the typical outdoors-y and adventurous family, our second day involved a hike up a 1300 foot mountain. I think I may be the only one of my friends that would really enjoy this. So I needed my trusty DM’s to carry me to the top. Most people think I am strange for not wearing professional hiking boots, though this choice is because I have a really small heel, and so far (without spending hundreds and hundreds) I have found nothing that fits.
The socks I am wearing are also amazing. I never thought I could love a pair of socks so much. Anyway, back to the hike.
We had to get the train to a neighbouring town, Neuhaus. The German trains are rather cheap (€1.50 per person) as well as being efficient, so this made exploring sans car really easy. It took us abut half an hour to find the bottom of the mountain, the map was not the easiest to read, especially when you are not fluent in German. On the contrary, once we got to the bottom of the mountain, we were unfathomably excited about the climb ahead.
My mum encouraged me to snack on this bar before we started.
My ED went mental, I found it such a struggle to eat outside of my meal plan, even if I was getting my sweat on, big time. I did manage to eat this bar, but the guilt and frustration didn’t really subside, especially when my parents made me eat more later in the week. This caused major anxiety, and a bit of an ‘episode’. On reflection, I feel so selfish for letting my ED get in the way, I know my parents would have prefered a holiday sans ED, and even though it cannot just disappear, I think my parents think it can. Thus, when I had an ‘episode’ they became very angry and upset.
No more negative, back to the hike. I thought my dad was going to pass out multiple times, poor guy, he is really fit, but I think he sometimes forgets his age! When we got to the top, everyone was parched, and luckily there was a small cafe, essentially run out of a woman’s kitchen.
I took the opportunity to run around with my camera whilst the fam consumed their coffee. Its such a shame that I love the smell of coffee, but am not enthralled by the taste.
Walking down was so much easier (and quicker) so I took a few more opportunities to take some pictures
Once we had reached the bottom, which came as such a relief to my mum! We had an explore of Neuhaus, on the contrary, when we discovered there was around 4 shops in the town, we headed back to Schlierseer, where mum and I did some more wandering. Once we were home, we had a light swim, and mum decided she wanted to go out for dinner.
Enter: Panic. Going out to eat in the UK is hard enough, I tend to dislike the atmosphere, I feel as if people are watching me. Moreover, I struggle with picking something off a menu, even if all the calorie counts were identical, I would sit and weigh up the nutritional benefit, and then once I’d ordered, regret it immensely. So going out to eat where the menu is in a foreign language, was nicht gut.
It actually turned out ok in the end, which for my parents was such a relief. Episodes in public places are horrible. I managed to order a turkey salad, no dressing, and the woman laughed at me for having no dressing! I wish I had taken my camera, they served the fish on fish shaped plates!
So that was day number 2!
Back to present day, I’ve been really busy today, but questions I’ve wanted to ask keep popping into my head! I spent my morning starting on my ‘inside&outside box’ one of the recommended activities from ‘Goodbye ED, Hello Me’ . I have now ordered Jenni’s other book, as I felt I read Goodbye ED slightly prematurely, I know I feel a great deal behind the mental state in the book.
How do you cope with going out for dinner?
Have you done any of the exercises from any recovery books? What did you find useful?