I really should be revising for a mock test on Monday, but I decided to take a half hour break to get out some of  my emotions.

On reflection, this has been one of the worst and most destructive weeks I have had so far. At times, it has felt as if I am being thrown obstacles from literally every direction, and I am ashamed to say that they have derailed me in some ways.

As of yet, I am feeling no better regarding the boyfriend situation, even though I know that if I was in a better place, a lot of this may not have occurred. On the contrary, it did, and I cannot dwell on the idea that I can turn back time, because I cannot.

I think recently I have simply been feeling numb, as if my life is on repeat. Everything I do within a day turns out to be such a battle, from getting dressed to being forced through a meal. This numbness clouds very waking hour, it also finds a way to seep into my precious few hours of sleep, ensuring that I am exhausted constantly. I no longer know what to do with myself, I cannot concentrate on studying, I feel I have no real place in the blog world, social situations are difficult. I am well and truly lost.

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  1. happinessisfreedom

    Hello!
    You may not feel part of this blog world. Neither do I, actually. But I assure you that this morning, when I woke up and pressed the “on” button on my PC I was wondering how you were doing. I thought “She wrote such a sad post, I hope she’s doing well.”
    It’s not nice having to study when things like this happen, you have to deal with so many things at the same time..Stay strong Sophie!
    Xo Juliette

  2. I know how that numbness feels….that craziness of waking up just wanting the day to be done and then spending each night just waiting for the night to be over..but not even looking forward to tomorrow.

    Sound familiar? I wish I had some surefire way that we can fight this…but the only thing I try to do is remember to stay present and aware (as painful as that is) because I find that moment to moment is where we can find peace.

    ~Missy

  3. its a battle and sometimes uve gotta put ur armor on just to survive/make it through the day. theres nothing you can do but push through it and know that ur going to feel a lot better soon. in the meantime, relax, take care of yourself, and enjoy the little moments u feel u can breathe ❤ HUGS xoxo

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