Gosh, today is such a dreary day, it has been drizzling, slow, monotonous rain since 4am. It is the kind of day that makes you want to curl up into bed, with a steaming mug of tea, and the latest novel you are devouring.
Instead, I had to settle with a quick mug of green tea, with a few pages over breakfast, before heading off to start my morning of titrations. And to any of you that do titrations, you will know why I was not looking forward to this. Don’t get me wrong, I love chemistry, but there is something about watching the drip-drip-drip of a titration that sends me insane! It is like chinese water torture to me. Especially when I have to get out of bed earlier than normal, simply to conduct this experiment.
Ok, so I only had to get up at 6am instead of 7, but today I really felt it. Last night, I had horrific dreams, which disturbed my few hours of sleep. I feel the need to get it down,
The sun shone brightly through my window, as I woke to start my day. I started to sit up, only to find that my sheets felt different, scratchier, my matress was harder, the room was brighter. I fumbled quickly to find Noddy, only to realise he was not there. So I opened my eyes, and there they were, the yellow walls of hospital, staring back at me. I blinked, once, twice, three times, but the walls just wouldn’t go away. I turned to my right, and there was Kate, my mental health nurse, staring straight at me. And then the tears came, hot and furious, crying and convulsing, muttering that I wanted, needed, my mum. They said that my mum had gone, it had gotten too much, she couldn’t cope, so she had up and left. I screamed, suddenly someone was muffling my voice, a doctor came in, only to administer something into my arm, making the world spin…
And that was where I woke up. It was truly horrible. I even tiptoed out of my bed to check my mum and Dad were still there, luckily they were, sound asleep. I haven’t told my mum about this dream yet, I am simply too scared. But I have been wondering what it means all day. I know my mum is exhausted by looking after me, I hope I do not drive her to leave. I know she loves me too much, but she just wants to see me better, more than anything.
What do you think this means?
Do you ever have strange dreams?
Thank you all so much for your comments on my last few blog posts; things still aren’t great, but hearing your kind words make it much easier.