Sunday

I’m still overcoming a love/hate relationship with Sundays. For most, they are a nice, relaxing day. Sadly, for me, relaxing and nice are rarely heard in the same sentence. So this Sunday, I tried to make myself a nice, structured day.

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I tackled my homework and revision mountain straight after breakfast. Sadly, it is still massive, but only 9 days of schooling left!

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After a beautiful walk with my parents (even if it is still 0 degrees outside!) I got prepped and ready to unleash my inner baker

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A few hours and several Christmas songs later, my first mince pies of the holiday season were born.

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My parents haven’t tried them yet, so I still don’t know if they are edible, but they definitely look cute!

To be honest,  am already starting to get nervous about the holiday season, and this time of year in general. It is a year since I first sought treatment for my ED, and everyone thought I would be out of the worst of it by now. I am sad to say I am not. My fear food list goes untouched, my rigidity still remains, and my restriction is slipping again. I have to remind myself that I do not want to spend New Year in Hospital again. I need to find some inspiration from somewhere.

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4 Comments

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4 responses to “Sunday

  1. Hey hun,
    I know it’s been FOREVER since I’ve commented on one of your blogs and I am truly sorry about that. Try and think of the GOOD things you have going, put aside the ED for a second. I DON’T now how I’ll fair through the holidays either. I have my final on on Thursday then I’m REALLY done school. I can’t take next semester because I’m going into the hospital myself sometime in January (I just pray it’s NOT on my birthday the 4). Does this make any sense and does this help? Oh, for the studying take SMALL brakes in between.

  2. school…ahhhh! i’m only in ONE class and i’m feeling megastressed, i really can’t imagine how you must feel with a full course load. i’d give anything to not have to go back next year.

    i know exactly what you mean about not being as far along in recovery as you “should” be. family and friends, and even yourself, expect it to come quickly once you finally choose to live rather than exist, but it doesn’t. It’s a long, hard road to recovery and I often feel as if the length of time it will take you to get better is in direct proportion to however long you were sick. it’s nothing to be embarrassed about or ashamed of, as long as you are still working towards your goal that’s all that matters. don’t let the stress get to you now and ruin your later.

    ps–i love how utterly British this post is. mincemeat pies! i don’t think i’ve ever even seen those in the states. i’m not even sure what mincemeat IS! lol

  3. Oh my are posts are so similiar! haha 😉 greatminds think alike.
    Im going through this with you, so dont ever feel alone.
    The hard part is now, take one day at a time, in the end it will all be worth it.

    For me, once i fist start eating my fearfoods, the next one isnt’t so hard,and it becomes easier and easier. [sofar]. Maybe one small challenge each day, and one major challenge per week? I dont know if this is helpful. But i think that’s what im going to do.

  4. Sheesh…can I say I can relate?
    I have been going through the same thoughts recently and plan to share on my blog soon…

    My thoughts on the matter are Go to GOD for the inspiration…or if you are not that spiritual, go to the season for inspiration.
    Focus on all the holiday stuff.. the cheesy movies, the cute ornaments, and most importantly the kids. Recall that inner you, full of unhindered innocence and joy and excitement and perfect contentment.
    The stockings are hung, Santa’s cookies are out and you are sucking down hot chocolate before bed with the only thoughts being how excited you are for tomorrow.
    You know?
    Capture THAT. Use the holidays for your inspiration to remember JOY. YOU.

    ~Missy

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